The pressure for orgasm or the “mirror effect”

Quelle: Erika Lust’s Blog

There was an interesting article on Jezebel about orgasm the other day. It seems that orgasm is the endpoint, the mandatory finality of sexual intercourse.

Since the general pre-conceived idea is that women don’t come that easily and that men always get off no matter what, there is now a big pressure on performance for men. They have to use all their tricks so the woman comes, and this is as much about the woman’s pleasure as the proper ego-satisfaction: if she comes, then I’m a good lay. It also works the other way around: when men have trouble having an erection or an orgasm, many women automatically associates it to the fact that the guy isn’t attracted to them.

So in some way the ability of your partner to orgasm is somehow the reflection of yourself, of your hotness, your looks…

But the more pressure, the less fun!

The thing is that orgasm isn’t a button to push. Depending on the time, the thoughts in your head… you might come easily or not, if you’re a woman or a man.

What I’m saying is that this orgasm-based measure of self value is based on pre-conceived ideas about orgasm. Of course getting off is important, but the journey is all the more crucial, having a good time and enjoying the moment is what it’s all about, that’s what I try to show in my movies – sex as an experience, not a race for orgasms. We’re not robots, and sex isn’t mechanical, so we shouldn’t try to act as some kind of athletes.

I would also like to add that it’s great that guys care for women’s pleasure. Sex is more open, more honest and more mutual. Way to go guys!

Résumé: It’s nothing left to say about.

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Über lucia

Anarchistische Feministin: Ein gleichberechtigtes menschenwürdiges Leben in Freiheit, ist für mich nur dann möglich, wenn es nichts mehr gibt, das über andere bestimmen kann.
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